Hold Me Under
by invisibly-anonymous
Summary: What happened to Eli before Clare? Was he always this dark and morbid? And why is he finding it so hard to let go of Julia.   The story is way better than the description,this story is heavy on Julia Rated M for language and later for smut.


**Author's Note: So this is my first Degrassi fanfic, and I'm pretty sure it's going to be EPIC. I don't own Degrassi, but I sure wouldn't mind owning some of it's characters xD**

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I guess you could say we were meant for each other, somehow destined to be together from the start. I was always the shy one, tucked away in the corners of my mind, dressed in all black to blend in to the backdrop of the play we call life. Not him. He was the funny guy. The class clown, always had a say in everything. I hadn't meant to win him over, but I'm glad I did. He's the best boyfriend I could ever ask for. I still remember how it happened.

It was winter here in Toronto. A blanket of snow covered the quaint row of houses simultaneously muffling the sounds of the city. Everything seemed so peaceful, but I knew better. I was walking home from school. I didn't have a car of my own and my parents never offered to pick me up. I arrived at my dorr lost in thought. My house, one of the many dainty houses in a row. How normal it looked on the outside. So why did I dread going through the door? My mother was more dedicated to her alcohol than he ever was to me. And my father, well, he worked late into the night, not that I could blame him. His temper could never handle mom or me for too long, and I learned quickly to stay away from him when he was angry. I've never been one to believe in luck, but I'm pretty sure it was against me one-hundred percent that night. I turned the cold brass knob, and with the seal of the door broken, the voices inside were unleashed. Vulgar words filled my ears as I edged around the door, shutting it as quickly as I could, so not to disrupt the peace outside. My dad was home early, and it was safe to assume my mother was drunk as usual. Not looking to get caught in the middle of their fury, I crept up the stairs and hurried into my "room", locking the door behind me. To be honest, my room sucked. The walls were the color of eggshells, and I wasn't allowed to hang posters, so they were just as bare. A stained mattress with two off white sheets and a wool throw blanket lay in the middle of the floor. On the left, there was a shabby 3 drawer dresser containing my clothes, on the right there was a lamp without a shade and three library books. Reading was the only thing I could enjoy anymore. I threw my backpack on the foot of the bed and sat on the floor, pushing my back against it. It was only a matter of time before my parents realized I was home. Angry footsteps came thundering up the stairs. "Julia!" my name sounded like venom pouring out from my mother's mouth. My door began to rattle as fists beat against it. "Julia you little brat, unlock the damn door." I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. If I didn't open the door, things would be even worse. _Here we go…_ I thought to myself. I slowly made my way to the door, trying to prolong my safety. More footsteps sounded on the stairs. Just as I reached the door, it slammed forward, hitting me square in the face. I stumbled backwards from the impact and fell onto my bed. My hand immediately went up to my face to wipe away the blood that leaked from my nose.

"Get your sorry ass up before you get blood on the carpet!" my father spit while grabbing my by the collar. Try as hard as I might, I couldn't stop the tears from rolling down my cheeks.

"What the hell are you crying for?" my mother slurred, making my tears flow harder.

"Oh, so she wants to cry? I'll give her something to cry about." I closed my eyes in anticipation for the blow, but even that couldn't prepare me for the sting that followed. His hand came down hard against my left cheek. "You ungrateful little bitch." He scoffed. I once again found myself on the bed. "Get the fuck up!" he raged, this time his had intertwining in my hair, yanking hard. "Do you enjoy this? Do you think I like having to discipline you?" his grip tightened, my body involuntarily cried out in pain.

"Leave her alone, that's enough." My mother decided to throw her two cents in.

"Get out." My father said releasing his hold on my hair. "Get your shit and get the hell out of my house." He motioned towards my books and then my open door. I grabbed my backpack and quickly shoved as many of my clothes into it as I could. I picked up my books and scurried past my parents still standing in the doorway. I almost fell down the stairs as I took them two at a time. I had to get out of the house before something worse happened to me. I flung the front door open and just about flew over the small set of stairs leading to the porch, turning back just in time to see my father's face as he slammed the door. The thick sound of a heavy lock resonated across the yard. To passersby, it was nothing more than a serene row of snowcapped houses. I made it to the edge of the sidewalk before collapsing. I sat atop my knees and watched as a pool of mascara and blood tainted the pure white snow. Violent sobs racked my body, and at that moment, I was truly alone.

"Are you ok?" a timid voice sounded over the ringing in my ears. I hadn't heard the boy approach or else I would've hidden. I turned away, not wanting to reveal my beat up face, but the boy knelt down beside me and pulled my chin towards him. "Who… who did this to you?" there was anger in his eyes. I froze, unsure if I should flinch away from him or wrap my arms around his waist. "Is this where you live? Julia right?" I nodded, tears still falling freely from my face. I could only imagine what I must look like to him. Given the circumstances I shouldn't have felt embarrassed, but this was Eli Goldsworthy. "Oh, it was nothing," I say hastily wiping away my tears. "I just… tripped on some stairs is all."

"Don't be ridiculous…" his hand slid underneath my arm, "There's a handprint the size of Texas glowing red across your face." That was Eli, always finding the funny side to every situation. I cracked what I thought was a smile. "It could be worse, it could look like Alaska" he chimed in. "Did they kick you out?" a serious expression spread across his face. I didn't know whether or not to laugh at his mood swings or cry about my answer. For the second time that night, I responded with a nod. "Well, come on then, let's get you to my house and warm you up a bit."

Eli didn't live far from me, but the walk to his house seemed to take forever. After a few failed attempts on his part to strike up a conversation, we walked the rest of the way in silence. When we reached his door stoop, I fell in behind him, taking note to stomp the snow off my shoes before entering the house. As soon as the door opened, I was engulfed by a warm breeze. The scent of cinnamon seductively wrapped itself around me, luring me further into the room. I heard the gentle click as the door latched into place, and just like that my insecurities seemed to disappear. I followed Eli's example and hung my coat on the rack near the door, then slipped my shoes off beside the floor mat. "Mom!" Eli yelled into the house.

"In here sweetie." a gentle voice replied from the kitchen.

"I brought someone home with me if that's all right." Eli started towards the kitchen. Unsure of what to do, I stayed put beside the doormat.

"Do I know them?"

"No mom, you've never met her before." Eli chuckled.

"Ooh, it's a girl? Eli, you didn't tell me you had a girlfriend!" his mom joked.

"What can I say, must've slipped my mind."

"Well, where is she? Bring her in!" Eli turned around and motioned for me to come towards him. My nerves wasted no time performing acrobatic feats in my stomach. I walked into the kitchen with my head down, feeling tears prick the back of my eyes. "Oh my god, you poor thing." Warm hands were on either side of my face pulling it up towards the light. "Who did this to you?" she asked moving my head from side to side. The tears I was trying to hold back overflowed from my eyes. "Oh baby, I'm so sorry." she cooed as she pulled my into a tight hug, pressing my face against her chest.

"Mom, this is Julia. Julia, this is my mom, CeCe."

"Oh Eli, how could you be so insensitive right now?

"Yeah I know, I'm horrible, anyway, hey listen. I think Julia might need a place to stay mom. She was kicked out of her house." There was a sharp intake of breath from CeCe as she pushed me out arms-length,

"No…. oh, dear, you poor little thing." She continued stroking my hair.

"So … can she stay with us?

"Eli! She may want to go stay with someone else." She scolded, "Is there anywhere else you can stay baby?" I thought about it, none of my relatives lived anywhere remotely close to Toronto, we didn't stay in touch as it was. I shook my head no and was immediately pulled back into a hug.

"I'm sure my parents will let me come back." I mumbled into CeCe's chest.

"What? No baby. I'm not letting you go back there. Not after seeing what they've done to you. You're more than welcome to stay here." She gave me a squeeze before releasing me. "You'll have to sleep in Eli's room though, our spare room is a storage unit at the moment, but Eli can sleep on the couch, can't you baby boy?" CeCe teased ruffling his hair as she walked out of the kitchen. Eli's dad was Bull Frog. The Bull Frog, an on-air personality that everyone in Toronto was familiar with. It only made sense that CeCe, his wife was his biggest fan, and a total groupie.

"So you wanna see my room?" Eli broke the silence.

"Yeah, sure." I managed. He led me up a flight of stairs and down a short hall. Eli's room wasn't big, but it was definitely a lot bigger than mine was. It was a typical boy's room, complete with dirty socks spread about the floor and spaceship patterned sheets. I stifled a small laugh. His cheeks turned bright red as he hurried about, picking up laundry, trying to make the room presentable.

"Oh, uh sorry about the mess, I would've cleaned up a little more had I known you were coming." His voice full of embarrassment.

"Really, it's alright. Don't worry about it." I tried to sound comforting. Eli looked up, socks in hand.

"You probably just want some time alone, to clean yourself up huh?" I nodded, wanting nothing more than to wash the blood and mascara off of my face.

"I'd like to shower, if that's all right?"

"Oh, yeah. Of course. Here, the bathroom's right through that door," he said pointing towards a door in the corner of his room. "There are towels and washcloths in the cabinet below the sink, and the soap and stuff is in the shower already."

"Thank you."

"Oh, and I'll leave you something to wear on the bed for when you get out." I nodded again. "Just take your time." Eli said leaving the room closing the door behind him. I headed towards the bathroom and flicked on the light, and for the first time since the incident at my parent's house, I looked in a mirror. My left cheek had a visibly imprint of stretched out fingers splayed across it. There was dried blood smeared across my face as well as two distinct trails of black originating from my eyes. It all seemed to dramatic, I looked way worse than I felt. Forcing my eyes away from the mirror, I found the towels and washcloths in the cabinet. I then adjusted the water in the shower and began to undress. The water felt so good against my cold skin. I stood beneath the showerhead letting the water run over me before grabbing the soap and washing my face. I then took the washcloth and began furiously scrubbing at my skin in an attempt to make the night's events disappear. When at last, my body was clean, I turned off the shower and grabbed the fluffy towel I laid on the counter, and wrapped it around me, reveling in its warmth. I cautiously opened the bathroom door and peeked out to make sure no one was in the room. It seemed as though Eli had cleaned up a little more, but he was nowhere in sight. Seeing that as an all-clear, I walked over to the bed and picked up the pile of clothing that was left for me. It was just a simple t-shirt and a pair of women's pajama pants, which I assume came from CeCe. After getting dressed, I ventured downstairs only to overhear my name. I stopped short of the kitchen to listen in.

"I just can't believe her parents would do something like that, she's just a little girl." CeCe stated incredulously.

"Well, they did, and she's not little mom, she's as old as me. So when are you gonna clean out the guest room so I can have my bed back?"

"Oh, Eli. Don't talk like that. You will have your bed back soon enough. Just, try to make her feel at home. Please, for me?"

"Fine. I'll sleep on the couch for however long it takes!"

"Well, who might you be?" I jumped, startled by the voice behind me. CeCe and Eli both appeared in the kitchen threshold.

"Hey Dad. This is Julia, she's living with us now." Eli informed his father putting his arm around my shoulders.

"Well, this is all so sudden, did you two get married?" his dad joked squinting his eyes at his son.

"Haha, you wish dad."

"Well, welcome to the family!" Bull Frog extended his hand for me to shake. As our handshake ended, he looked up at CeCe sporting the "We need to talk" look. Eli apparently caught onto this too and grabbed my wrist.

"We'll just be in the living room," he called over his shoulder, "make sure to get us when dinner's ready!" and with that, CeCe and Bull Frog were out of sight.

That was not the first night I ever met Eli, but it was the first time we had ever acknowledged each other. From there, I was accepted into the family and began developing feelings for Eli. Of course it's near impossible to coup up two non-related teenagers of the opposite sex and expect them not to do anything together. Eli admitted to having feelings for me too, and we began spending a lot more time together. Eventually he was sleeping back in his room, but so was I. That was enough at first, but then our constant closeness left us wanting more. I gave my virginity to Eli and he gave his to me. It was a beautiful thing how we were each other's firsts, and we vowed to be each other's only. But as happy and in love as we were, we were just as contentious. Soon enough we were arguing once a day. Everything would set us off, the covers not positioned on the bed the right way, losing the toothpaste cap, the color of the neighbor's cat… everything. But at the end of the day, Eli and I had been through so much together, and we knew we were still in love. Eventually, Eli got his very own car. His dad let him pick it out. It was quite a surprise to come home from school one day and see a massive hearse parked in the driveway. At first I thought someone had died, but nope, just Eli. He was weird like that, always picking out oddities. We would often pick up some of his friends and drive to the local park, and just enjoy ourselves. It was nice to have a car, but I always preferred riding my bike. I liked the exercise and the feeling of the wind blowing through my hair. I would normally get rides from Eli to and from school, but today, he had a doctor's appointment, so I was on my own this morning. School was boring without Eli there. I had virtually no one to talk to, so it's an understatement when I say I was elated for the bell to ring. I got on my bike and began peddling as fast as I could back home, back to my Eli. I was about halfway there when I heard a honk behind me. It was Eli in his hearse. I put both my feet on the ground and looked at him through the window as he pulled up next to me. "Come on, get in!" he said leaning over to open the passenger side door.

"What on earth? Where are we going?" I asked him.

"You'll see, just put your bike in the back and get in." he smirked. I loved it when he did that. Shortly after we started dating, when Eli was feeling smug or annoying, he would plaster on this know-it-all smirk, which actually turned out to be kinda sexy. Losing my ability to resist his offer, I loaded my bike into the back of the hearse and jumped into the passenger seat. I was greeted with a kiss before Eli pressed on the gas and we sped off.

"So, what did you do today?" I asked trying to bring up casual conversation.

"Well, I went to the doctor."

"And.. was there anything wrong?"

"I have herpes."

"What the fuck! Are you fucking serious Eli? Does that mean I have herpes now? Oh my god, no I would notice that. Have you been having sex with someone else?" I was enraged.

"Hahaha, just chill out Julia, I'm only teasing. You know I would never do that to you." He put his hand on my thigh, but I quickly pushed it off. "Oh come on. Are you seriously mad?"

"No, Eli. Everything is just peachy keen. My boyfriend only just scared the shit out of me, then tells me he's joking, but everything is perfect."

"Julia… seriously? I was joking, I'm sorry. What can I do to make it up to you?"

"Well, for starters, you can actually go to school with me instead of having me spend the whole day alone."

"I had a doctor's appointment, I couldn't just skip it. It's not like I wanted to miss school."

"Well you should've scheduled it for after school."

"It was the only time I could get in Julia. Why are you being like this?"

"Because I'm sick and tired of constantly being the outcast at school, while my perfect boyfriend has such a great life and gets whatever the hell he wants."

"Oh, I'm sorry that your perfect boyfriend is so horrible to you. Maybe his insecure girlfriend should get the stick out of her ass and learn to be a little more understanding."

"You think I have a stick up my ass? What a dick. You know what, on second thought, I'd rather ride my bike home then stay in this car with you." I turned my head to look out the window.

"That's what you want? Fine. Here you go, princess." With that he pulled over to the side of the road and jumped out of the car. He opened the back and pulled out my bike, setting it on the side of the road before closing the door and getting back in the driver's seat.

"What the hell are you doing Eli?"

"You said you would rather ride your bike home, so there you go. There's your bike, see you later, get out of my car. Goodbye." I scoffed at him as I angrily opened the car door, making sure to slam it shut for emphasis. I then watched him speed away, into the distance. I was too angry to go home, so I mounted my bike and took off in the opposite direction. I had no idea where I was going, but at this point, it really didn't matter.

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**Yay! you made it to the bottom! please, please, please review! I have a lot in store for this story, and I'm pretty sure it will be amayzing. Just tell me what you think of the first chapter 3**


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